New Years Declaration

   It's that time again. Time to get the vision of what we want life to look like and vow to change our habits. New Years resolutions!! 

    So I decided to put mine in writing so I can refer to it when my life gets off balance. Here it goes. In 2015 I want to become a healthier me. Not just physically but spiritually and mentally. My plan is to start making time for myself to exercise and have devotion time. I want to read all the books I have bought that I started and never finished. I want to organize my home and say goodbye to things that just clutter up my life. I want to get my finances in order. I want to save and tithe the way I should be. I want more date nights and conversations with my husband and less Facebook. More cuddles with my children and less stressing over my house, my job, etc. I want to get more involved in Restore One, a wonderful local ministry that is helping victims of human trafficking. I want to walk with Jesus in my daily life instead of sitting him on the sidelines. I want to be more thankful, less anxious, and have more of a servants heart than ever before. I want to serve in my church better. I want to spend time with my children talking about Jesus and praying more together. I want to spend more time with my family.. My parents especially... I want to make memories that are unrushed and special with everyone I love. I want more girl time. Girlfriends suffer when you take a working girl and give her a house, husband, 2 kids, and a dog. I want to say "yes" when I should and "NO" when I should. I want to love better...everyone.. Even the ones that test me. I want to live consciously , waste less, buy less, and in the fullness of the JOY that has been heired to me for a costly price on a cross. 

     Well , as you can see I don't want much. I am going to need a lot of help with these . I hope all my friends have a wonderful New Year! Love to all of you and yours.

Paula

Psalm 20:4 ”May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”

"Just a thought from the carpool line"

God is good! When you are in line with his heart he can take you to a place where you can't hold hate for others anymore.. He will teach you how to love even those who you don't agree with or understand. We all fail at looking like Jesus in our daily walk.. But we should never quit trying to be the light.. There are a million people who are waiting to criticize you .. Find fault with you and twist truths to condemn you so they can live any way they want to.Faith is not an easy task these days. That's why the bible talks much about how the world will hate you as a believer. It's hard not to react in these moments.. Just remember the war has already been won! If God is for you then who can stand against! Blessings,

Paula 

You don't "like" me?

Have you noticed that today's technology is centered around the word "like"? Well my obsession with the word "like" started long before Facebook invented a button for it. I have spent a good amount of time and energy over the past 38 years in the people pleasing business. After all , I have been doing hair almost 20 years and my job is pleasing. Imagine my disappointment when I learned that I can't please everyone. I can recall in my early years as a stylist lying in bed wondering if Jane, a made up person, liked her hair cut. Another time I recall I offended a long term friend as she took what was meant to be a compliment as an insult... Of course I did not know this til 2 years after since she no longer spoke to me. I could not understand how one phrase could end a friendship of 19 years. 

Now, that I am an official adult you would think life would be easier, but even now this mother, wife , daughter, salon owner and stylist still finds time to dwell on the the ones who don't like me. 

 

If we are all honest we want the approval of others and some of us may even be addicted . Have you ever compared yourself to someone? Envy their success and their seemingly "having it together"? I found myself doing just that this week. I was watching a YouTube video of famous  Christian speaker, Beth Moore, thinking wow..everyone loves her. She's funny, really cute , so intelligent & she has God's direct phone number. After listening to her I saw she had several comments below and something just made me click on the list and low and behold I was taken back and really sickened by the rude judgmental comments I read. That's when it clicked... If Beth let the negative opinions of others stick to her it would paralyze her for the calling of sharing the Gospel she is so passionate about. I was ready to go to bat for her but hating confrontation I avoided adding to the heated discussion. 

So I made a list of lies the enemy has sold me... Bought with lots of my valuable time. I then found a scripture that counteracts the lie. 

Lie#1 To be a good Christian everybody has to like you. 

This is such a dangerous lie because as I mentioned earlier it's impossible. If we find our worth in this will ultimately wind up not measuring up. 

Galatians 1:10 

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Lie#2 .. If I am a good Christian I must like everyone. 

This too is a dangerous lie because it may lead to un genuine gestures that are more guilt ridden than from a heart of love.  It is unrealistic to believe that you will be friends with everyone. But the word tells us that we must LOVE one another. Forgive one another as we are forgiven. This does not mean we have to be besties . 

1 John 4:8 

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Lie# 3 .. You have to be perfect for God to use you for his kingdom. 

Ever think to yourself .. Wow! I blew it!? I was put to the test and I blew it...literally. You just exploded and it was a reaction and pity party that left you wishing you could go back and play the cool , calm and collected one? Why would God want to use me? Maybe I am a fake? Well I have been there and have asked God search my heart many times over it. The answer is pride.. It's pride that would have us believe that our performance has any affect on what God can do in and through us. Nothing about us is perfect...EVER!! Except for JESUS!! Remember , there is a battle and  it's not flesh and blood. Sometimes we are not gonna get it right, but God's grace is there to cover us and teach us for future situations. He can use our mess for a message.

 New International Version

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Lie #4... You can have more than one BEST friend .

I always have had several best friends for different reasons. I could never pick just one. I am blessed with real friends who love me in spite if myself and I am so thankful to God for them. But, through life I have learned that people will let you down and sometimes you just need to fall into the arms of the one who knows you best. After all, he created you.

John 15:15 

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Last but not least....

Lie # 5... You will be alone.

This perhaps is the biggest fear of all. That we would be shunned forever by our peers, ourselves, our family , and even worse God. Satan loves this lie because if he can make you believe it then all your joy, peace and happiness is gone allowing depression , anxiety and loads of guilt to rob you of all your life was intended to be. 

Joshua 1:9 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Blessings,

Paula

Don't sweat it!!

Life is so short... Make everyday sweet ! Love the people in your life with all you have and try not to sweat the small stuff. That is my thought for the day. Yesterday my 34 year old client, mother of 3 small boys, sat in my chair and proceeded to tell me that she may have throat cancer. She seemed pretty convinced and I was speechless. It really made me think of what is most important. I can't even imagine what lies ahead of her. Made me wanna come home and hold my children and embrace this sweet short time. Please join me in praying for her and her family. Have a blessed day friends.

TAKE THIS WORLD AND GIVE ME JESUS!

       So, I haven't blogged in a while because of lack of concentration, the spirit just has not moved lately and has left me to wonder where all my creative inspiration went to. This month has been a overwhelmingly busy and stressful time for me and I seriously have been in a funk. Have you ever been there?? Overwhelmed, distracted, maybe even borderline depression? Is it possible to ADD and OCD at the same time?? There is so much noise around us that our minds between our normal obligations, texts, emails,& social media. My brain is starting to function as a news feed .
       I really don't know how we got here, but my only question now is , how do we fix it? A dear friend of mine, Lisa, and I were discussing this and we concluded that we needed to be in our bible more. Sounds simple right..??
        The enemy knows what he is doing and loves distracting us from God's presence in our lives. Wether it's our drive to push our kids to be the best, Facebook, TV, shopping, reading series of books, or maybe even a hobby that seems harmless. Where is our treasure? This same friend made a statement..".Why do we say we are not going to do something because we want to set an example for our children? Can't we just say that we want to please Jesus!"
         There is war raging around you and your soul is at stake. Do not be deceived the enemy is lurking and he wants nothing more than to steal your witness and make a hypocrite of us all. He doesn't just want you, he wants your marriage, your children, you finances, your heart and mind! So you might be in denial, such as I, but if you are not chasing God , unfortunately you are chasing the world. I could confess to you a long list of what has been standing in the gap from me and my relationship with Jesus, so I am not condemning anyone. I say Lord, begin with me!! Maybe being complacent doesn't seem like a bad place to be, but I refer to this scripture...

Revelation 3:16New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

     I don't know about you but this does not sound like a safe place to be. I can honestly say that is where I have been recently and I am thankful that through the scripture I am made aware and can push through. Here's to a new day! A fresh beginning!! Let's use it wisely so the world can see the difference. Life is better with Jesus!!

Ephesians 4:20The Message (MSG)

^20-24 But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

 

 

"That Crazy Pageant Mom"

So... it's been a while since I have written. 9 days at Miss NC Pageant glamour, brings me home to the reality of a working mother. Yet today after 5 loads of laundry, toilet cleaning, and unpacking, I am overcome with the appreciation of home and coffee just the way I like it. I wore my pj's til 3:00 and boy it felt amazing. It left me to ponder about the race called my life, and who am I really running it for.
     While at the pageant another pageant mom wrote on my Facebook page that I was a perfect  "pageant mom". I appreciate her kind words, but it made me think , "OH MY!! I AM A PAGEANT MOM!!! what does this mean?? I am not sure that I want that label.
      You see, when you get 100 girls together, their daughters,  their hairdressers, and their coaches, you learn real quick that when the one girl leaves with the crown, someone is not gonna like it. It doesn't matter who she is or how close to perfect, someone will find fault, even if it's that they did not like their dress. I saw a lot of disappointed girls, rightly so, it cost thousands of dollars, hours, and sweat and tears to get to this level of competition, but what I saw that made my heart happy, was the sisterhood of the bonds these ladies had formed and the ability to be happy for each other.
    I am realizing my reaction to my daughters performance plays such a big part in how she will react. I love the quote from the movie Secretariat, "It doesn't matter if they think we won, what matters is if we think we won". This is what I have taught my girls.... All you can do is the best you can with what you have brought and if you leave knowing you did your best, then you have won! If you fall on your face, then you learn and it will make you better prepared the next go round.
    I just wanna run after whatever dream God has for my life and that's all I want for Faith and Eden. That no matter what dream they chase it will lead them closer to their God and his divine plan and purpose. I went out for Mrs. NC a number of times and did not bring home the crown, but I showed my girls that I was willing to face my fears and chase a dream. You know what? Each time I came out stronger than before and with a new handful of girlfriends who I cherish so much. God was able to use these opportunities to strengthen me for something bigger...something I know he is guiding me to in his way and time. I don't know about being a perfect "Pageant Mom", but I do have a perfect one guiding me. Sometimes we just need to sit back and let go, and trust him with our children and his plan for them. Easier said than done...
 
 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

 

The Empty Chair

•         "The Empty Chair"

Wow.. My first official blog post. In the shower this morning I was hoping for a breakthrough word from God that I could share that would somehow qualify me for this new found hobby and well ... I got nothing. In fact I almost got out of the shower without shaving one whole entire leg. The point in my telling you this is I am just a rookie who really is hardly ever grammatically correct. So be prepared in advance to cut me some slack. 

I have been dealing with anxiety lately, worrying about work, middle school for Faith is fast approaching , but one thing that has been on my mind lately is the thought of losing loved ones. I lost my Grandmother a few weeks ago and it has been hard to imagine that she is gone. I have not been home since and part of me feels it will make it official that there will be an empty chair . My heart will sink at the thought of facing this reality. My mind reels at how this really is not our eternal home.

Before her death we had several moments that were so special. She told stories (often the same ones over and over).  For at least 20 years I have loved sitting in the antique chair in her living room. It is a Victorian princess chair. Anyway, I have told her forever that I loved that chair. She promised me that when she was gone it would be mine and I would say " hush up!!". I did not like speaking of things in a morbid way.  

At her bedside ,in a comma state, I whispered in her ear that I would put that chair in my room and I would never forget our lovely talks. On Memorial Day, my Daddy arrived at my home with my chair and boy did it hit me. What I would give now for a chat in that little house with the smell of a kerosene heater, and Young and The Restless playing on the tube.

Let's not forget today to embrace what really is important! We all have a divine appointment oneday! 

I am a wife to Wayne, Mother to Faith and Eden, Salon owner and stylist. I have a lot of plates spinning. Sometimes it seems it's all I can do to even make time for a shower. The funny thing is, I have noticed that when I am in the shower is when I finally relax and God & I have our best conversations. The noise fades and I almost always come out with a new perspective. I have learned that from the shower to the carpool line that our lives are so busy we have to take advantage of every moment we can to spend with Jesus. I love sharing my stories of what God has impressed upon me with my daughters. My oldest encouraged me to write a blog. I am not a bible scholar, but I know Jesus. I love sharing him with others.